Aftermath
A year and a half later and I’ve never experienced anything like that since. That extra-sensory sense of perception I was struggling to describe eventually faded, and by October it was completely gone. I still remember it vividly and try to chase it down whenever I get the sense of it again, but maybe it was something I’m not able to experience more than once. The paradigm changed, and since it changed, I can’t re-experience the feeling of it changing again. I can remember the transition, but to keep experiencing the part that notices the change over and over again negates the sense of past and present. Like how I can remember my perspective from when I was a kid, but I can never go back to that perspective without taking this one with me.
Nothing else has ever happened though in spite of my attempts to force it: Last May, after Grizzly Bear died, and during the first weeks of my sabbatical, I was shoving down 100-150mg a day hoping to blast open my third eye again, but instead it made me so THC resistant that I couldn’t get high anymore. By June I had given up. When I started working again at the beginning of October, I thought it might be possible to catch that flickering ember again, but it just made me sleepier and stupid in the traditional stoner motif. Very unbecoming.
I know that drug induced derealization isn’t anything mystical but experiencing it for the first time certainly was for me. It decoupled a part of me from the rest of myself, but instead of feeling myself yearn for reassimilation, I’m content with aligned parallels.